Real?

Every Saturday morning I take my daughter to garage sales. There is definitely a functional purpose in my doing so, for we bought a house a few months ago. I have enjoyed the occasional find at low prices, but it's quite the pain to get her in and out of the car every couple of blocks.

Recently, I've been copping out on the yard sale part of the routine. Katie and I get up, we both eat breakfast, I check craigslist for local listings, and off we go. But often times I end up driving past one or two yard sales and am perfectly content to stay in the car. It struck me today that I enjoy the excuse to drive around more than I enjoy the garage sales.

I know plenty of people who like to drive around with no where to go. We used to do this when I was a kid - drive far west into the Yakima valley to explore the tumbleweeds and orchards. I have fond memories of sitting in the back seat of the car, looking at what I had or had not seen before. When the windows were down, I could smell the desert air, and then the irrigated fields when we passed by them. My father-in-law drives flowers for his retired living all around the north west part of Illinois. He loves it too. I'm sure there are many others of you in my acquaintance who love the same.

It is no secret that I like driving around with no where to go (I also like doing other things with no end-goal in mind...I'm creatively minded). I often don't get directions because I don't mind getting lost. I like to explore. To see. To experience.

A few weeks ago I was driving alone in my brand new car. The sun was setting behind me, and it was so colorful that I think I might have been utterly distracted if the rear-view mirror had been any larger. With my hair blowing in the wind, I thought to myself, "This is beautiful, and it's real. What a magnificent reflection (in my rear-view) of nature and the One who created it." It was almost one of those rare times of feeling at peace with the world.

But then, another thought crossed my mind. The very thing I was in awe about was created in an unnatural environment. I was driving, in my new vehicle, on pavement with retail establishments on every side. My window was down, which was creating the sense of wind in my hair, but actually the air was rather still that evening. I only noticed the sunset in my rear-view mirror because the mirror was there for my driving safety, not because I was outside staring at the splendor. While the sunset was real, at the same time it wasn't.

I'm getting to my point. Stay with me a few more minutes.

I discovered a British show entitled "Manor House." A bunch of people from today's society live together in an Edwardian-era (about 100 years ago) mansion and fulfill the roles of the house much like they were at that time. Servants, masters, the whole bit. One of the masters of the house, an 18-year-old Cambridge student, was riding on horseback in the field outside towards the beginning of his stay there. He said to his riding trainer, "Today I'm on a horse and I've been out into the woods of my estate. It's a very overpowering sense of the Edwardian period. It feels now like this world here is more real than the 21st century world outside."

I immediately resonated with what he said. Not everybody feels the same way as I, but my husband can vouch for me: I hate bugs and yet I love the outdoors! I am not athletic yet I make it a point to go camping, to get outside and sit. I feel most alive when I'm journalling about what is real in my life, when I'm being completely transparent with those who are most dear, when I am able to speak truthfully about what might be going on around me.

Why is all of this?

I would like to suggest that we were all made in such a way to be one with the world around us (absolutely no cheesiness intended). No wonder Romantic era poets often wrote on themes of nature and love! With the technologies all around, there was a movement to get back to their roots. I think technology is progressing at such a rate today that we are forgetting about what is natural. We seem unable to see past our facebook pages and digital photos. (And blogs) Relationships are paper-thin. People turn to anti-depressants and video-gaming to cope with their problems. With all of the advances at our disposal, the one thing we cease to advance the most is ourselves.

The other day I saw someone I casually know for the first time in several months. We completed our "howd'y do's" and separated. Immediately I smirked and said outloud, "Well that was a fake conversation." I felt sad because this person and I have connected deeply in the past, but now all that seems to remain is cordiality.

I know a song which has the lyrics "Many are asking 'Who can show us something real?', longing for hope beyond the pain of what they feel."

I am profoundly bothered by the lack of transparency and livelihood in life. I don't know what to do about the larger problem. But I have felt recently a great desire to reach people in real ways. I am trying to be obedient to that call! In college on more than one occasion, I had friends tell me I lacked in relationship. That's a major area of focus for me right now. I'm trying to take time for other people, to listen to their needs, and in some cases to meet those needs. I'm wanting to get over my own insecurity to make myself available. And I'm also getting outside every morning to sit in my rod iron chair - and journal and pray about anything and everything. These efforts have been hugely rewarding.

Obviously this is a blog. The blog itself isn't real, it isn't causing me to move forward in this direction. But the thoughts and motivations behind the words are. Make no mistake: I believe the Lord is the one who created us this way, and it is He that is guiding me. As I step forward in faith, he continues to shine his glory and goodness upon me in ways I have never known.

(I can't find an easy link to the song I referenced, but you can hear it on iTunes - search terms "Shine/Vineyard UK")