Who would've thought I'd be saying this, but....
I miss the Daniel Fast.
I miss the discipline. I miss feeling good after I eat every single meal. I miss having structure that allows me to be less selfish. I miss knowing that, for once, I can do something that I previously thought I couldn't do. I miss seeking after the Lord in a way totally contrary to normal.
All of these things are not what I embraced so heartily before. Ideals, yes, but not practices.
Now that I have free reign to eat what I please, I find that it doesn't make sense to do it. Guilty pleasures are not as satisfying as they were before. Yet it's hard to say "no" for some reason.
If we can discipline and deny ourselves of certain things like animal products, preservatives, and sugar for 21 days then I have to wonder: What would happen if we decided to do something more radical than this? I ask that rhetorical question within the confines of hope and anticipation. What if we (we=Matt and I? All of Us?) can escape the day-to-day grind of selfishness? What if we can live more fully than we ever allowed ourselves to do before?
We've long been feeling that we're not living our lives as fully as we ought, as fully as we've been called to. But What We Ought To Be Doing Differently is not yet clear. So for now I am happily entertaining these 'what if' questions in hopes that the answer comes soon.
In the words of Switchfoot:
"We were meant to live for so much more. Have we lost ourselves? We want more than this world's got to offer. We want more than the wars of our fathers, and everything inside screams for second life."
