There is one girl I know distantly from college who has a very honest, transparent blog. I read it regularly and enjoy it greatly because, for a moment, I'm validated. While reading I am reminded that being a human being is ok, non-kosher thoughts and all.
But every time I go to write something down, I either stop myself before I start, or I write it and decide not to publish. It does have a bit to do with fear of judgment, I suppose, but it's more so the idea that people can read what I say and take it out of context (or just not understand at all). Not knowing my audience is a bit scary.
The process, for me, is more important than the final outcome. Many blogs I've read seem to be a record of things that have already happened, conclusions that have already been made. But what I care about (in life) is how I got there...and that requires me to go to the sometimes dark, unknown places. The thoughts I have while in the dark, unknown places are the thoughts I want to share with the world.
But somehow that seems inappropriate. Lately I've been asking myself: is it okay to write about dark places in a blog? More specifically, is it okay for ME (professor, worship leader) to do that? Or is that something I should always keep in my journal? I am not writing this in order to solicit comments, although if you have something to say please do.
It is certainly a delicate matter...a grey area if you will.
ReplyDeleteI find that when others are transparent I gain inspiration and validation. I also find I pray for them more when I'm actually involved in their story. For these reasons I truly appreciate it when people are open on their blogs and in life in general.
I try to ask myself what my motive is for writing what I'm writing. If my heart is gratitude, hope, learning, encouraging, etc. I post. I also consider how those included in my story will feel about me sharing it.
I try to share some of the messy stuff of life because it just seems too phony to share all that is glossy and sparkling without some of the junk. When sharing the mess, I try to do it with a heart of gratitude knowing that I am not perfect, but I know the One who is...
As for being a teacher/leader...I think it is refreshing to know that you're human...sharing the dark stuff is a risk. My general rule of thumb is if it's something my heart is really stirred about, I save it and think over it a bit before posting...I also have Dan read over it as a sounding board.
I too have had thoughts similar to yours and these are just some of them...I would be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on this as we go. Blogging is a relatively new world, and it's not easy to figure out the black and white of it all!
I have thought the same things. I think as a leader it's wise to share after we've overcome some of the struggles in our lives instead of when you're in the midst of it--of course this depends on what it is though. that's not necessarily for blogging but just in general. you could also set up your blog to be by invite only and then you'd know who your audience is and wouldn't have to worry about who's reading it.
ReplyDeleteI think of that too. I'm afraid of not being understood, or to offend people. I find that I've been open about my fears and my hopes, but I don't open up when I'm mad or upset, that is when I struggle most. In a fun way, I've also found that my blog has been helping me embracing sides of myself that are normally separate, and in that way I'm very open. Interesting journey on this blog business!
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