All my life I've been working towards my career. In school of any level it is, "Work hard so that you can go to college, so that you can get some degrees in your field, so that you can get a good job doing what you do best."
I took that advice to heart. Working hard on my skills, grades, and degrees were all important because it was my "calling" to put those skills to use as a functional person in our world.
Nobody really emphasized the option of being a mother instead. Which, by the way, is wonderful. Nobody really said, "You're going to go to college, you may get a job, but be prepared to embrace the joys of full-time motherhood and put your other skills aside for a while (maybe a long while)." I really wish my teachers or leaders has said more on the subject. For so long I've been operating under the pretense that to be an effective person is to have a job doing something you're really good at, and all of the work that goes toward that end. It's only recently dawned on me that I just might need to be willing to let the career thing go. And I don't wanna.
Can I do both, and do them both well?
Do I have to decide?
I'm torn in a way I've never been before. I feel like half of me expects myself to stop everything and be a full-time mom, while the other half expects me to get my doctorate and teach full-time at a college. I am unable to decide for myself.
I think, in the end, God will decide for me. Thank the Lord, because I certainly can't.
Those are really good questions Jess! I think you will be awesome at whatever it is you decide to do. (I know, not very comforting when trying to make a decision!! :) I wish all huge life decisions were easy to make!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to be your friend and hear your thoughts, but also read them. :)
ReplyDeleteI think in trying to understand where you're coming from and your stage of life, it is helping me to think about these ideas as they're related to me. I think I'm having trouble getting started on working towards the career. Once I graduated I didn't quite connect how my grades were really going to help me attain a job in my field, and I wasn't ready to look towards grad school. My thoughts are still a bit jumbled, but I appreciate your sharing and how your thoughts are helping me find a way through my tangled web.
I wish I knew the answer! I don't feel like I wholeheartedly fall into either camp (career/SAHM). Though I am presently an at-home parent (teaching music verrry part time and trying to get the photography business going here in OR), I've never really EMBRACED that title. I feel somewhere in the middle, and I have no idea how it will play out over the course of the next several years. We'll see, I guess. It's definitely not an easy thing to figure out!
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